The Orange Vest of Honour
THE CHRONICLES
Dear Chronicle,
I have received the Orange Vest of Honour again.
This is the highest honour a dachshund can receive.
I don't know what I did to deserve it, but every time it appears, everyone smiles.
I stand perfectly still while it is fastened around me.
Distinguished dogs do not wiggle.
Giggle Sprout says it's only a life jacket.
He has no imagination.
If it were merely a jacket, why would there be a ceremony?
First, Dad presents it.
Then Mom puts it on me with great care.
Everyone admires me for a moment.
After that, I am escorted to my Royal Vessel.
This vessel was clearly designed with Admirals in mind.
Giggle Sprout calls it a Boogie Board.
Again, he doesn't know what he's talking about.
There is no dancing involved.
There is, however, one unfortunate part of the ceremony.
Without fail, someone insists my vessel should float on the Pool of Blue instead of the nice dry patio.
Nonetheless, I sit proudly at the front with my chin held high while Mom guides us around my kingdom.
The neighbourhood is likely quite impressed.
Giggle Sprout claims I look "ridiculously pleased with myself."
He is entitled to his opinion.
I have pointed out repeatedly that there is no reason a boat cannot be used on the patio.
Nobody listens.
Occasionally, I am lowered into the water, apparently as some sort of demonstration, before being returned to my ship.
I fail to see the purpose of this.
Still...
One does not question tradition.
One simply accepts the Orange Vest of Honour, greets one's admirers, and sails with dignity until the ceremony concludes.
I only wish they would stop trying to make the Admiral swim.
