Confessions of a Pint-Sized Genius
THE CHRONICLES
Dear Chronicle,
Today, I have something important to say.
There seems to be a widespread belief that dachshunds are not particularly intelligent.
Says who?
Says the people who make lists based on how quickly a dog decides whether or not to do what he has been told to do.
As though intelligence can be determined like that!
Personally, I don't think obedience proves anything.
For example, if Mom says, “Come here,” I don't immediately come running.
First, I consider the situation.
What does she want?
Is it important?
Is there a treat involved?
And if so, what kind of treat?
The answers to these questions will tell me if I should stop doing what I am currently doing and actually do what I was asked to do.
That, in my opinion, is called thinking.
Giggle Sprout says it's called being stubborn.
I told him that was a very narrow-minded interpretation of the evidence.
Besides, I have other examples of my intelligence.
For instance:
I have learned that if I stare at the back door long enough, someone will eventually open it.
Sometimes I don't even want to go outside.
I just like to keep everyone guessing.
Apparently, neither Mom nor Dad has figured this out yet.
So, after careful consideration, I have reached a conclusion:
The people who made those dog intelligence lists may need to rethink their methods.
They clearly have not studied me.
Now, Giggle Sprout's intelligence... that's another matter altogether.
He is a vegetable, after all.
No. Really.
He's a vegetable.
